Sometimes, It's All In The Dick

 

I rarely find just dicks all that exciting (oh yeah, I hear you say!) but the thick juicy monster above left me speechless, and then some. Total perfection - even the veins! Olympic gold, yes?

Problem for me it that I'm pretty keen on seeing a face attached so in a moment of whimsy, I'm going to imagine the gorgeous guy below has all it takes to own the object of big desire above.

What do you think?

Stone Statues on Easter Island Have Bodies

I’m sure many of us read (at school probably!) about Thor Heyerdahl’s Kon-Tiki expedition of 1947 in which he and five friends journeyed from Peru to Polynesia on a raft constructed from balsa wood and other native materials. 

His aim was to establish the possibility of east to west migration and settlement of Polynesia.

The most striking thing for me about the expedition was the stone statues of Easter Island encountered on the way.

Recentish archaeology has revealed that the statues have bodies with a degree of detail hitherto unknown.

Kinda interesting, don't you think?

Is One Image Enough?

I think that sometimes one image is quite enough to fill a post ... unless ...

Don't you think?

Edith Sitwell - On Being Eccentric

As a kid in London, my family had a friend, the minor Bloomsbury Group painter, Eve Disher, whose 1940 work 'Still Life of Arum Lilies and Tulips' ...

Eve Disher - 'Still Life of Arum Lilies and Tulips' (1940)

... I bought not so long ago from an antique dealer in a small town in France.

One day at Eve's flat in Eccleston Square, Knightsbridge, the phone rang and it was Sachervall Sitwell - one of the famed eccentric sibling triumvirate of Edith, Osbert and Sacheverell ...

... with Edith, a poet, being perhaps the most physically arresting of the three ...

Some of Edith's poems were set to music, most famously a series  known as 'Facade' which had an instrumental accompaniment by William Walton. And I recall going to a performance or reading of this work in my late teens.

All up then, I've always had a soft spot for the Sitwells (and eccentrics in general) and when I heard this 1959 interview with then Dame Edith Sitwell ...

 ... I was keen to share it round.

Hope you like it as much as I do.

Steven Wright – A Most Erudite Scientist

Steven Wright drifted across my radar a few days ago with …

I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.

These are some more of his smuts that have appeared on my screen since then:

1 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

2 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread

3 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

4 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

5 - Borrow money from pessimists … they don't expect it back

6 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

8 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

9 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

10 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

11 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

12 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

13 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

14 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

15 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

16 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

17 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

18 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Some of these have a distinctly Oscar Wildish flavour, like 10 and 12, don’t you think?

My favourites are 2, 3, 9, 10, 12 and 18 – which are yours?

Must Have Died and Gone to Heaven!

I don't think this represents a new direction for the blog - though you never know - but rougher and hairier seem to be doing again for me today - in the form of Jason Michaels!

Nearly exploded when I saw the first (butt) shot ... but to 'start at the very beginning' as someone rather wise once put it ...

 

The other guy is Damian Stone - as if it matters (well, to me at least)!

The Cowboy

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town that Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."