No Speed Bumps

Ten Not-So-Appalling One-Liners

1. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

2. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

3. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

4. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

5. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

6. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

7. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

8. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

9. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

10. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.


So which do you like best guys?

My favorites five are - 2, 4, 7, 8 and 10.