No Speed Bumps

'BBL' Test - Your Most Important Pre-Date Check

What test should you MOST carefully undertake before you head out on that all-important first date?

You might think it's the BCBBT (Bird-Cage-Bottom Breath Test) : hand over open mouth, exhale and then breath in (if ya eyes roll back - go to the bathroom and do serious gargling). Or the CGCT (Clothes and General Cuteness Test) : stand in front of a full-length mirror and inspect WITH TOTAL HONESTY (if ya eyes roll back - go to bed now, and alone).

WRONG!!! None of these tests, tho important, are THE test. Jordan here, aka Michael TC, has just carried out the 'BBL' test, and is showing you a 10-out-of-10 sucessful result.

Can you guess now? Got it - it's the Belly Button Lint Test. Cos, as we all know, everything will go well till he mosies on down there ... and then that little ball of blue-grey fluff nestled in ya belly button will get him dressed again, and heading for the door, before you can shriek 'antidisestablishmentarianism'.

There are a number of theories about how the belly button fluffs up. One is that the snail trail channels the lint on your jocks upwards and into the belly button, that is the stuff that doesn't get trapped by the washing machine filter. I like this theory cos the colour of filter lint is blue-grey too, so there's no need to further explain it's colour in ya belly button.

To test this theory, 'Doug' (a long time BBL sufferer) carried out two now classic experiments. In the first, he shaved a 10 cm area round his button. Result - no fluff! And in the second, he shaved a horizontal band across his trail. Again, no fluff! QED!!!

There is the complicating factor of having an 'innie' or an 'outie'. Dr Karl, of Triple J Science Talkback Radio, differentiates:

Your normal belly button is concave, with an attractive upper hood. The base of the belly button usually joins onto the muscle wall of the abdomen. Around the belly button there is subcutaneous fat. In the "outie", there is a protuberant mass of subcutaneous scar tissue between the bottom of the belly button and the muscle wall of the abdomen. This scar turns the concave "innie" into a convex "outie".

As you would expect, 96% of those with BBL were outie challenged i.e. had innies. But, then there are more innies, so ... . Suspect research!

Jordan was so pleased by his LFBB (Lint Free Belly Button) result that he decided to pose some more:
And then, cos he is a vain show-off kinda bugger, he did some indoor shots (close up):



And some indoor shots (middle distance):



And he's not too bad looking too - as well as having that fabulous LFBB.