Sunday, 3 September 2006

Body Parts - Two: The Bush

I was looking at the guy below and was trying to trying to figure out just what the hell it was that made him so hot for me (as though anyone needs to know WHY - ya dick works it out and that's all the matters).




Anyway, it then occurred to me, it was something to do with the bush. Big, dense, dark, ... - a semiotic sign - 'no point looking anywhere else, mate - the action is HERE'.

And here's another hot bush, with a close up, to nail my point:






Now, to be a truely great bush means to stand alone - no competition. So the bloke shouldn't be too hirsute (hairsuit!).

A bit of a snail trail is ok:




But you instinctively know these following bushes don't work. Total failures!








As do mangy bushes, which say 'identity crisis':






Now, at the other end of things, shaving can be hot:





'Mangy Guy' has obviously sorted himself out.

But we all know how fickle queens are - one day we wanna be shaved and then the next, bushy. So the solution is the merkin or public hair wig, which, for only $44.95 the website says, can be an integral part of your wardrobe.




I would recommend a merkin sub-wardrobe: the 'Afro', the 'Blond', the 'Shaped' (heart, square, triangle, even circle!), the 'Crew Cut' (for the beach? ot hot weather?), 'Sculpted' (into personally-meaningful designs - lol) - guys, the possibilities are endless! You just accessorize to the occasion.

No comments:

Post a Comment