No Speed Bumps

When a Compliment is Something Else Altogether

Oscar Wilde

1 "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

2 "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."


William Faulkner

3 "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." (about Ernest Hemingway)


Clarance Darrow

4 "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Stephen Bishop

5 "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

Samuel Johnson

6 "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

Paul Keating - Australian Ex-Prime Minister

7 "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

Walter Kerr - Author and Playwright

8 "He had delusions of adequacy."

Mark Twain

9 "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Mae West

10 "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Winston Churchill

11 Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

12 Lady Astor looked at Churchill and said, "Sir, you are drunk!" He replied, "And Madam, you are ugly. At least in the morning I'll be sober.

Lady Astor

Ok guys, how do you rate these pithy retorts? My favorites are 2, 4, 7 and 10. How bout yours?